Respected Women in Personal Relationships

In a preconditioned society, certain groups are subjugated by the perception of being the weaker kind. The categorization of these groups may be based on ethnicity, gender, age, income, intelligence, material possession, physical condition, inherited status and many more.

One of the most popular type of human being that is prone to be mistreated are women. In conjunction with the recently celebrated International Women’s Day, I would like to share some thoughts on this particular issue; the maltreatment of women by their male counterparts.

Whether we like it or not, we are living in a paternal structured society in Malaysia where the norm is men are held as leaders and women are made as their aides or “co-pilots”. In a household unit, a father is expected to head the family and the mother assists the father in maneouvering the journey of the family ship. Whereas in social institutions, the glass-ceiling barrier pervades in most social institutions. Most high positioned posts, are held by the men. However, this barrier is gradually torn down. More women of eligible capabilities are able to rise and surmount the gender-limited career ladder.

Although the changes in society has given women a myriad rights as they are due, the subjugation of women by men still occur. Many women have blamed social norms, religious doctrines and even men themselves for their victimization be it in a social context or on a level of personal relationships.

I say we put a stop to this blaming game. Let us look at the root of the problem from within of ourselves for a beginning. We can not change a society or a person according to our wants BUT we CAN change ourselves. “Why our own self? Isn’t it the men who are not treating us right? They enslave us, make sexual insinuations, physically batter us and our children, they emotionally hurt us and break our hearts” some say.

Yes, it is true that women are often treated with these kinds of disrespectful acts. Be it if she is a young girl, a woman, a daughter, a mother, a patron, a worker, a boss or any role that she may play, any woman must have had an experience of maltreatment by men. When I saw a lot of women being victimised in a civilized world, I felt a calling to write this to share with readers this advise;

For a woman to be treated with respect, she has to respect herself beforehand.

A woman must create the value of her own self to be able to position herself well at home and in the society. Many have expressed their trivial matters in domestic issues and personal relationships. More often than not I advise women who are played around by the very men they love to leave them.

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” – Khalil Gibran

Return here does not mean only that the man seeks for you to resume the relationship BUT also strives to change his behaviour to not hurt you and better still seeks for your hands of marriage. When a woman allows for the man to return (or the woman herself seeks for him) and do the same old tricks again, it means that the woman allows herself to be treated with disrespect. Hence, she can not blame the guy for his misdoings. Then again, it is all the matter of the heart. A woman’s loving heart is as sophisticated as her creation by Allah. Those who face this dilemma must never give up but always pray to Allah for greater strength.

How a woman portrays or build herself will determine the type of men who come to her. How she dresses, the way she speaks and its contents, her demeanor, the places that she spend her time, her life principles, her passion will attract certain type of men. This has indirectly been mentioned in the Quran and also proven in sociological studies. Before wanting a man of her dreams, a woman must be the woman of his dreams first.

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2 thoughts on “Respected Women in Personal Relationships

  1. How a woman portrays or build herself will determine the type of men who come to her. How she dresses, the way she speaks and its contents, her demeanor, the places that she spend her time, her life principles, her passion will attract certain type of men. This has indirectly been mentioned in the Quran and also proven in sociological studies. Before wanting a man of her dreams, a woman must be the woman of his dreams first.
    this is the most chauvinistic statement ever! I seriously dont understand this archaic point of view! A women have rights to dress and carry herself the way she pleases, its called personality and fashion sense! It does not become an invitation for men to abuse her. I am a muslim, and i wor with abused women. This is not right especially coming from another women.

  2. Salaam sister Regina,
    I believe that every person is entitled to their own views. No qualms about it.
    I also believe that every woman has the freedom to present herself as the way she pleases.
    This article does not refer to the context of a woman being abused by men due to her dressing as you have elaborated.
    There are places where women dress modestly but yet they’re subjected to public sexual harrassment like what is happening in Egypt.
    But that’s a different story.

    Instead, in this article, I tried to highlight how we women often aim to have certain type of men as our partners without considering the presentation and development of our own self beforehand. This involves not only our exterior appearance but also our inner being. It involves various aspect of ourself as a person and as a woman. Thank you.

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